I had...this in a notes file on my computer. I have no idea why, where it came from, what it is, or why it exists. It was just a random file called notes.txt hanging out a few subfolders deep in my documents. Now you can have it, too!
In the most famous episode of Lost in Space, taking on the role of the gracious host, Captain John-Boy presents the actress with a parquet silhouette of the spaceship and a receipt of her room and board, proudly boasting, "conditions are 435 per cent better!" It seems to be an impressive sales pitch until you realise that he's including a portrait of himself as part of the deal. However, this doesn't seem to deter Miss Clay, who avidly accepts.
But her excitement quickly turns to concern when she realises the ship's crew won't be as easy to win over. "You think they are going to like me?" she worriedly ponders.
"They will love you," John-Boy confidently assures her, his words almost drowned out by the sound of raucous laughter emanating from the galley. Realising that his actors will soon be subjected to the Walton's unconventional dynamic, John-Boy hesitates before opening the door.
The sight that greets him is one of playful chaos; his parents and grandparents engaged in a friendly food fight, hurling mashed potatoes and greens at each other with gleeful abandon. Recognising the challenging task ahead, Miss Clay asserts, "We'll have to teach them some manners."
John-Boy readily agrees, signalling the start of their mission to transform the lively Waltons into a more refined version of themselves.
The following scenes depict the trials and tribulations faced by Miss Clay and John-Boy as they attempt to instil etiquette into the Walton clan. Their efforts are met with varying degrees of success. Grandpa, in particular, transforms remarkably, adhering to the new rules and proudly declaring, "You can't go against Miss Clay!"
Despite their best efforts, the process is fraught with challenges. Olivia, John-Boy's mother, accidentally destroys a prized family heirloom during an ill-fated attempt at a lesson in table manners. The mishap leaves both her and John-Boy in despair, with Olivia lamenting, "I'm going to be the only mother in history who's going to lock her children in the airlock." Yet, amidst these setbacks, they remain undeterred.
The climax of their efforts arrives when Miss Clay decides to stage a 'dress rehearsal', simulating a dinner party scenario. Each family member is assigned a role, aiming to perfect their newly acquired manners under her watchful eye. However, the exercise quickly devolves into pandemonium when their dog, Reckless, wreaks havoc.
The pandemonium unfolds as Reckless chases a toy, disrupting the carefully staged dinner party. The pursuit ends with the dog crashing into the table, sending food flying and leaving the guests, including Miss Clay, covered in spaghetti. The incident appears disastrous, yet it inadvertently serves to unite the family, reminding them of their shared bond and resilience.
As they recover from the chaos, John-Boy expresses his admiration for Miss Clay, commending her perseverance and stating, "It makes me feel good that you don't care where you are as long as it's with us." His appreciation reaffirms Miss Clay's connection to the family and their mutual understanding.
In the concluding scenes, the Waltons gather to bid farewell to Miss Clay. It's a heartfelt moment filled with appreciation and respect. Despite their initial resistance to change, the family acknowledges the positive impact of her presence. They part ways with a newfound understanding, promising to maintain their refined behaviours, albeit with a Walton twist.
@fastfinge@interfree.ca