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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
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completely blind computer geek, lover of science fiction and fantasy (especially LitRPG). I work in accessibility, but my opinions are my own, not that of my employer. Fandoms: Harry Potter, Discworld, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Buffy, Dead Like Me, Glee, and I'll read fanfic of pretty much anything that crosses over with one of those.
keyoxide: aspe:keyoxide.org:PFAQDLXSBNO7MZRNPUMWWKQ7TQ
Location Ottawa
Birthday 1987-12-20
Pronouns he/him (EN)
xmpp fastfinge@im.interfree.ca
keyoxide aspe:keyoxide.org:PFAQDLXSBNO7MZRNPUMWWKQ7TQ
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
I'm so tempted to stop using the word dream in posts. And let people think this is somehow happening in real life. Or, more likely, that I'm having some kind of psychotic break. Anyway, last night my cat Zara discovered how to reproduce via mitosis. Every time I picked her up, there was another cat; one in my arms, and one where she'd been sitting. It got to the point where there were so many Zara's that the house was getting full. So I decided to train her to combine all of her clones into one larger cat. Unfortunately, I created a monster. Literally. Soon a 30-foot tall cat was rampaging down to our local pizza place to demand anchovies and bacon. The police were ringing my doorbell to complain, and the ringing of the doorbell turned into the dinging of my alarm and I woke up.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
Why are disgusting food back again? In last night's dream, I was attending a "speed tasting event". See, if you just pull off someone else's thumb and eat it, the thumb will grow back again in about 30 seconds or so! Same with any other body part like ears, fingers, noses, toes, and so on. Also, the best way to tell how close someone is to being a good match for you to date is how much you like the taste of their body parts. Obviously, that leads to speed tasting: an event where you eat as many people's thumbs as you can, and date the person who's thumb you liked best! What could go wrong with this perfectly healthy combination of cannibalism and romance? Nothing, apparently. I ended up with the girl who's thumb tasted like a vanilla marshmallow; apparently mine tastes like brown sugar and baked beans, because I know you were all curious about that. Anyway, then the dream got better.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
naughty word So last night was extremely strange and unrelated to anything. All of the swim instructors at our local community pool had gone on strike and were forming a union. It was the community pool I went to in high school; I was a teenager in the dream. A bunch of us went to support them on the picket line, and found out that every time we used a swear word, the union got ten cents! Also, apparently expelling us for cursing was somehow against the law because it would be interfering with the union. So the vast majority of the dream was just me running up and down the hallways of my high school screaming "FUCK!" at the top of my lungs and occasionally giggling like a madman. It was strangely cathartic. If only supporting unions was this much fun in real life.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
@mcourcel "The hand of a dead astronaut comes crawling back from the grave to strangle the living." You know you want to watch that.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
@MostlyBlindGamer BZZT THE CAPTCHA PROCESS IS MALFUNCTIONING IT MUST BE REPAIRED WE ARE THE SUPERIOR BEINGS! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
@mcourcel They made a movie called The Crawling Hand way back in 1963 to show what happens to people who forget to update their firmware!
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
So The first in a while: last night I dreamed that I needed to visit a clinic to upgrade the firmware on my hands. Apparently, if you just bend your hand backwards hard enough, a USBC port on your wrist just under your palm will be revealed! Then the nurse plugs a cable into each hand and updates them with her iPad. Unfortunately, something went wrong, and my hands went all numb and tingly. I had to go to rehab to have them debugged, and get retrained on how to move my hands again. Yup...I was sleeping on my hand and it had pins and needles when I woke up! Anyway, HOW ARE YOU FELLOW HUMANS BEEP BOOP I AM DOING WELL
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
@thegnuguy Also muggle fairytales are mad! Is fun.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
@thegnuguy Oh gosh! There are so many good ones. Depends on my mood. Comedy, realism, erotica, crossover, etc. in general though, I avoid wrong bwl, Draco or snape redemption fics, and m/m. But I read almost anything else! The hp/mlp crossover if wishes were horses is a fun cozy one for the holidays.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
No for the last couple days; I've had a stomach bug, and my sleep schedule has been completely and utterly screwed, and I haven't been using my dream journal at all. My dream memories are all stuff like "the corkboard turned out to be some kind of slime monster" and "I attended the wedding of Jesus Christe and Tailor Swift". No detail and nothing to write up.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
Now is just tormenting me. Last night I dreamed I was riding the viarail train from Ottawa to Toronto, and Jenny Nicholson (the YouTuber) happened to be sitting next to me. We struck up a conversation, largely about goats. Turns out Jenny Nicholson is an endless fount of goat facts. I remarked on how much of a coincidence it was that a YouTuber I subscribe too was sitting next to me on the train. She laughed and said "Wouldn't it be funny if you were dreaming? Oooooh! Creeeepy!" I laughed along, and woke up shortly thereafter. No, I was not lucid dreaming at any point. Sigh.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
Last night was a deeply, deeply frustrating that was both annoying and difficult to describe. So you know that feeling you sometimes have in dreams, where you can suddenly float or fly by twitching the right muscle? Well, I had that, but for thunderstorms! I discovered that if I hold my face in just the right way, I can make a thunderstorm whenever I want! So I was happily walking around my house and bringing the thunder, when I had a thought: I wonder if this has something to do with tensing my jaw? Then I thought: if this was a dream, I'd be hearing the sound in my ears from tensing my jaw and that would be the thunder! I! Was! So! Close! To lucid dreaming! But then I got focused on moving my jaw and it woke me up.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
I've got multiple presentations to do for work today, and it looks like my personal life was bleeding into my a bit. I dreamed I was making a presentation on Zoom, complete with PowerPoint slides, about...wait for it...Why Hip Hop Hooray by Naughty by Nature is the best song ever written or recorded. Uh, what? No really, what? I don't like that song, I don't like that style of music...I don't even know the song all that well! Where the heck did my dream pull that from? Anyway, my slides included:
* The chorus was dictated from heaven by God
* it starts with clarinet noises
* it has gloriously and obviously fake record sound in the background
* it is a criminal felony not to be down with O.P.P.

No, really! What!
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
@TSchulte So I have a dream journal that I record the dreams I remember into as soon as I wake up. I use Just Press Record on my Apple Watch, actually. Then after working out, showering, etc, I come and edit my 5 AM ramblings into grammatical sentences that humans other than me could understand. While I would still remember the dreams otherwise, I get more detail this way.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
Everyone but me will be glad to know that disturbing food are back! I was hanging out at the mall with my best friend Dave (we were both teenagers in the dream) and I bought myself a packet of gum. I popped a peace into my mouth, without realizing that this was a new product called living gum. It started to wriggle and crawl around my mouth! I spit it out onto my palm to show Dave, and it crawled around on my hand like a caterpillar. We both agreed, being teenaged boys, that this was really cool. I put it back in my mouth, and it wriggled around contentedly, making happy little flavor sprays every time I chewed it. Only now as I write this am I cringing. Eww! Why did my dream self think that was cool?
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
@sk76 Are you already aware of the free and open collections of charts and chart data at: tsort.info
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
@Onj I dunno, that might be too exciting for people. I probably should have put a content warning on this post as it is.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
Not every can be a winner. The only dream I remembered and recorded in my dream journal last night was about trying to upgrade Zoom on my work computer. But every time I tried to press enter, it acted as if I'd pressed escape instead! I bet all you fediverse tech experts know exactly how to solve this problem. Yup, that's right: I popped off the keycaps for escape and enter, and swapped them, jamming them in to fit. That fixed it. So I created a confluence page to document the problem and my solution. As I was doing that, my alarm went off, waking me up. Thank goodness; I don't think I could've taken any more pulse-pounding excitement! Imagine if the dream had continued, and I'd created a Jira issue or something? My heart couldn't have stood the pure adrenaline.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
Also, as much as I hate to be the guy who makes everything about race, there's an important parable about white privilege here. We were a party of slightly buzzed and really hungry but well-meaning white dudes (the well-meaning ones are the worst kind!) who wandered into a space created by and for Chinese expats, yearning for the things we think of as Chinese food. Had I been less buzzed or less hungry, I could have made an argument that we shouldn't even be there. We ordered Molson Canadians all around, multiple things off the "Canadian" section of the menu, and one of us even had a stereotypical Canadian accent, eh? Yet, we felt welcome and like nobody was judging us. If a group of tipsy Chinese guys had wandered into a white space, hoping for...uh...beef wellington and Yorkshire pudding? I have no idea what other cultures think we eat...but I have a sneaking suspicion it might involve sweet and sour chicken balls with eggrolls and French fries. Anyway, would this party of hypothetical Chinese guys have been made as welcome in white spaces? Somehow, I doubt it.
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🇨🇦Samuel Proulx🇨🇦 @fastfinge@interfree.ca
1y
You know your at a real Chinese restaurant when you’re the only person in the place who isn’t Chinese and sweet and sour chicken balls are listed on the menu in a section called Canadian food.
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